The Fragile Illusion: Reality of Open Relationships in a Traditional Society

The tendency to be drawn toward the opposite sex is as natural as the sun rising to meet the horizon, as inevitable as the tide’s pull toward the shore. In every new encounter, the fluttering butterflies of excitement take flight, a reminder of the human heart’s yearning for connection. But like the fleeting colors of a sunset, does this spark last forever? Or does it fade, as night follows day? Can one person truly be the moon and stars for another, fulfilling every desireToday’s generation stands at a crossroads, openly challenging the age old path of monogamy. They claim that the idea of one partner forever is not a law of nature but a construct of society-built, and therefore, open to change. This perspective aligns with Michel Foucault’s The History of Sexuality, where he argues that societal control over individual sexual expression is socially regulated and can be questioned. In the search for fulfillment, open relationships have stepped into the light, no longer whispered about in the shadows. Though not a new philosophy, its revival in modern times has swept across cultures, embraced in some corners and stirring chaos in others.

In Pakistan, where the fabric of society is tightly woven with Islamic values and traditions, this idea of openness clashes with deeply rooted norms. The air is thick with principles of fidelity and modesty, making the adoption of such relationships not only controversial but hidden behind veils. Yet even here, where these notions are rigid, there is a quiet inclination toward breaking free, a growing undercurrent seeking escape from the confines of tradition and a dull Marriage.

What does this shift mean for those drawn to it as a refuge from the monotony of life? Does it offer liberation or merely an illusion of freedom? For some, it is a chance to live authentically, unshackled by the expectations of a single, lifelong commitment. For others, it may lead to conflict, both internal and societal, where the pursuit of personal fulfillment brushes against cultural taboos. In a society like Pakistan, where communal identity often takes precedence over individual desire, the success of such a lifestyle remains a delicate dance; balanced between the weight of tradition and the winds of change.

Western ideals of liberalism are often held as the gold standard for individual freedom, but they carry hidden shadows. While the West may seem to effortlessly juggle open relationships, we are not as accustomed to the emotional balancing act it requires. Boundaries blur, expectations shift, and not everyone can navigate the stormy seas of jealousy and insecurity with the same poise. In Pakistan, the idea of an open relationship is not just a challenge to a romantic bond but a confrontation with the very foundation of family, loyalty, and personal identity.

Laurie Penny, a feminist thinker, notes that open relationships can disproportionately burden women. In conservative societies, women are brought up to value loyalty and sincerity. Their psychological framework is deeply connected to these ideals, making it harder to break free from them. Unlike in the West, where women may have more flexibility to redefine these constructs, women in traditional societies may suffer silently, bearing the weight of their partner’s affairs in the name of love. Communication, while heralded as the key to harmony in such arrangements, may not be enough to bridge the chasm between deep-seated values and newfound desires.

Zygmunt Bauman, a philosopher known for his concept of liquid modernity, describes how relationships in the contemporary world are increasingly fluid, yet unstable. Open relationships, like water slipping through fingers, are emotionally shallow, as they often prioritize sexual freedom over deeper, ethical responsibilities of care and commitment. The ease with which people move in and out of relationships has made emotional bonds fragile. What was once a safe harbor, a stable shore, is now an ever-changing tide, leaving individuals lost at sea.

As open relationships spread, they bring with them emotional challenges. Jealousy, societal stigma, and blurred boundaries weigh heavily on those who engage in them. Deloitte’s 2024 survey on Gen Z and Millennials shows that these generations, despite prioritizing emotional well-being, often struggle to maintain it. The added pressure of managing non-traditional relationships only exacerbates this stress. Sapien Labs’ 2022 report reflects similar concerns, revealing that young people between 18-25 experience the lowest levels of mental well-being, with anxiety and emotional withdrawal becoming common.

Statistics tell a sobering story: while open relationships may offer excitement in the short term, they often falter over time. Psychotherapist Neil Wilkie points out that fewer than 1% of couples are in open marriages, and even among those, 80% struggle with jealousy. The promise of freedom fades like a sunset, leaving behind the darkness of insecurity and mistrust.In Pakistan, where the cultural tide is strong, embracing such a lifestyle comes with countless hurdles. Partners must share a common mindset, operate in secrecy within extended family systems, and grapple with deeply ingrained values that conflict with the nature of open relationships. Even with clear communication, can the green-eyed monster of jealousy truly be kept in check? Or does the secrecy, the very act of concealment, only fan the flames?

The desire for security, trust, and emotional stability, core to human relationships, withers when faced with non-monogamous pursuits. What begins as a thrilling escape can quickly spiral into emotional turmoil, leaving individuals stranded in the wreckage of shattered trust. The fleeting joy of freedom may come at the cost of long-term emotional trauma. Before embarking on this path, it would be wise to consult the works of Lynn Saxon’s Sex at Dusk, which reveals the hidden truths behind the illusion of sexual freedom.

In the end, what appears to be the dawn of new possibilities may simply be another nightfall—a darkened road that leaves behind broken bonds and unfulfilled promises. Like the ocean’s pull toward the shore, the longing for connection is inescapable. But as the waves of open relationships wash over the shores of tradition, they may erode the very ground on which they stand.